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mum and daughter reading book in restaurant

How the fu*k have we made it to Year 2?

I really can’t believe nearly a year’s passed from when I jotted down my thoughts on ‘First year as a first time mama’ – I was amazed we had managed to keep our very own human alive for 365 whole days, let alone doing the double!
So, my observations of bringing up baby – the second year goes like this…
× Kids, whatever age, are still brilliant objects to dress up.
× Work is a saviour! Go back to work, be independent, drink hot tea, talk about rude things without the fear of your crudity being repeated at inappropriate times.
× Learn to switch off. You know that thing that parents used to say “I don’t even notice their screaming, I just switch off“, yeah that.
× You still can’t just ‘pop’ anywhere. But now it’s worse – they want to WALK. Then they walk 7 steps and want to be carried, all 2.5 stone of them.
× They learn words. And then repeat them over and over and over again. My favourite of this year has been ‘Bugger’, ‘Good shite’ and ‘Peppa’.
× They develop an unhealthy fascination of Peppa Pig/Ben & Holly/Bananas In Pyjamas – and then want all of the massively over-priced figurines to match. And if they don’t get them then……
× ….They tantrum. Oh my god I thought that was just a thing that bitter old mothers said. Turns out they do. Or I’m just a bitter old mother.
× Terrible twos? Ha ha, pull the other one. Starts about a month after the wonderful ones.
× They start to look like their gender. Yes! We’ve gone a year with no-one asking what his name is.
× They sleep! And she even asks to go to bed. Sometimes, I keep her up a few minute longer – payback buddy, payback.
× The pure unadulterated, unhealthy, killer desire of anyone that parks in a parent and child car parking space without a child gets stronger.
× On the whole, people stop giving you advice. They just look at you in disgust thinking  ‘are you seriously letting your child eat that whole bar of chocolate?’ – Yes, because I am desperate to get my shopping done and bribery is the only way.
× The recognition factor is amazing – she distinguishes groups of friends/family/people now.
× Soft plays become your second home. And yet you secretly despise all those nasty kids that push yours over.
× There’s nothing better than every night hearing “Good night, uv ooo mummy”
× I still cry at absolutely everything. Quite a lot.
× I drink more than ever before. Hic.
× The pressure begins for the next one *shudders in fear*
I’ve got a feeling 2016 is going to be the year of the bumps and babies in my friendship circle…. lets see what the next year brings for us all!