Did I ask for your advice?

Here’s a little round up of my favourite pieces of ‘advice’ I’ve heard…

• ‘Sleep now while you still can’ 
  – Thanks but I’m not actually tired. And I’m at work.  Also, you CAN’T BANK SLEEP.
• ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’
  – I haven’t mastered the art of driving whilst snoozing but I’ll keep it in mind.
• ‘Try and get them into a bedtime routine as early as possible’ 
  – My baby likes sleeping anytime that’s not actually bedtime. Routine, what?
• ‘You look so tired’ 
  – Fuck off, I am. I haven’t slept a full night in four bloody months. Or even more than two hours at a time.
• ‘Take all the drugs, labour is horrendous’
  – Thanks for informing me of that, there’s no going back for me now but please, carry on, fill me with your over-exaggerated labour horror story.
• ‘Oh, you bottle feed your baby?’   
  – Yes I do. Problem? [Read this]
• ‘Oh it’s all worth it isn’t it’
  – Right now I have greasy hair, no make up on, I’ve got sick all over my tracksuit bottoms – probably not the best time to ask me that.

……and don’t even get me started on those looks and tuts when your child is screaming the quietest place down.