How hard is juggling work and a baby? Very! Pre-baby I went to work full time, I worked hard and then when I finished what I had to do I went home and chilled. Hell, we sometimes just spontaneously went out for dinner when I came in.
I often got pissed at the weekend, rolled in to work with a hangover on Monday, took every second of my lunch break and had frequent visits to the toilets perusing Instagram (on a friends recommendation.. never Facebook or Whatsapp, that’s too visible).
Anyway, that was then.
Now I work part time but continue to try to do five days worth of work into three/four. I don’t roll in with hangovers, I barely take a lunch break and I don’t even have time for a poo. [If I could just get over the pooing at work phobia]. I have a daily mind battle of whether to work four days instead of three, desperate to be seen as a sensible person who still wants a career as opposed to a ‘swan in swan out’ part timer. I hate those types.
Every day is a balancing act.
But then, there’s the other side. The guilt of being, quite frankly, a shit mother. I don’t take her to nursery in the morning, and recently I haven’t even been picking her up either. I just can’t seem to get up and leave my desk at 5pm, so I get in just as she’s going to bed then sit racked with guilt that I’ve missed out on that precious hour with her before she hits the sack and I see her for thirty minutes the next morning before I go again.
I haven’t even mentioned the illnesses we’ve endured and the balancing work with ill child dilemma. I’ll save that for another episode!
Edit: I wrote about juggling all the balls that motherhood throws at you for the lovely Emma at The Halcyon Years [formerly Ettie and Me] – you can read that here.