That 100 question tag thing!

Thanks to Three Times Daddy for tagging me in this 100 question tag mega beast. Never been one to take a risk on a chain letter I thought I best join in before monsters started lurking under my bed or hoards of black crows started circling my house in an insane fashion.

If you’ve got a couple of hours then give this a read…and if you’re un/lucky enough to be mentioned at the end – you’ve been tagged!
BASICS
Q1: What’s your name?
A – Jess.
Q2: Any nicknames or aliases?
A – Mummmmmmmy, Mummmmmmy, Mum. Prosecco Mum.
Q3: Your gender?
A – Female.
Q4: Your star sign?
A – Cancer.
Q5: How old are you?
A – 34.
Q6: Your relationship status?
A – Married. Lucky guy.
Q7: Any children?
A – Two. An almost 4 year old Sofia and a 9 month old Arlo.
Q8: Any pets?
A – Nope. We will forever be the no pet family.
Q9: Any tattoos or piercings?
A – Just the standard ears.
Q10: What do you like about yourself?
A – I like that I’m a very generous drunk – if you’re within a 5m radius of me at the bar, you’re joining me on the jagertrain. My overdraft absolutely hates me.
Q11: What do you dislike about yourself?
A – A whole number of little things, but nothing too major.
Q12: Righty or lefty?
A – Right.

LASTS
Q13: The last thing you drank?
A – Diet Coke.
Q14: The last thing you ate?
A – Well I’m 6 days into a diet where I’ve been so strict, but today’s Tuesday and that can only mean one thing. Two for Tuesday!
Q15: Your last phone call?
A – Client at work.
Q16: Your last text message?
A – Text? You’re so 90’s. My last WhatsApp was a picture of my friend being motorboated.
Q17: Your last email?
A – An ASOS ‘we’ve received your return’ one.
Q18: The last song you listened to?
A – Some drivel on the radio when I nipped to the shop, I’m so out of touch I don’t know what it was or who it was by.
Q19: The last book you read?
A – Errrrrr, Face-book.
Q20: The last time you cried?
A – Watching DIY SOS last week.
Q21: The last blog you read?
A – I’ve actually just read Secret Mum Blog’s one about traveling. Have a read here if you’ve got a few mins…
Q22: The last person you spoke to?
A – My husband. To say ‘can you please stop coughing’
Q23: The last place you visited?
A – My bed. And before that it was the cash point on the way back from work. It’s all rock & roll round here.
Q24: Your last holiday abroad?
A – Our last holiday was to Ibiza in the summer, and in two weeks we’re off to Disney. I can’t bloody wait! 2018 is our last chance to go away whenever we feel like it so we’ve got a few jaunts booked in. Then the realisation of schools will hit us and any holidays in school holidays will no doubt bankrupt us. 
HAVE YOU EVER?
Q25: Have you ever gotten back with an ex?
A – Yes, once.
Q26: Have you ever been cheated on?
A – Yes.
Q27: Have you ever cheated on someone?
A – Yes. In my young, carefree days many moons ago.
Q28: Have you ever lost someone special to you?
A – Thankfully, no.
Q29: Have you ever been so drunk you threw up?
A – Regularly.
Q30: Have you ever fallen out of love with someone?
A – Isn’t that when a break up happens?
Q31: Have you ever met someone who changed you?
A – My parents when I was a baby. They probably changed me a fair few times. Chortle.
Q32: Have you ever been in a situation where you found out who your real friends are?
A – Yes, I’m lucky to have a solid base of honest and loving buddies who’ve had my back for as many years as I can remember.
Q33: Have you ever kissed someone you probably shouldn’t have?
A – More than I can remember.
Q34: Have you ever found out people were talking about you behind your back?
A – Probably. But doesn’t everybody?
Q35: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
A – There are heaps of miserable men wandering the planet with broken hearts from me.
Q36: Have you ever kissed a stranger?
A – As per three times daddy, see question 33.
Q37: Have you ever had your own heart-broken?
A – Yep. When Robbie left Take That. There’s been no pain like it since.
Q38: Have you ever had sex on the first date?
A – For fear that my mum reads this blog, no never.
Q39: Have you ever been arrested?
A – No.
Q40: Have you ever been attracted to someone who isn’t the gender you usually find attractive?
A – Well not in a scissor sister sort of way, no.
Q41: Have you ever done something you regret?
A – Often.
Q42: Have you ever had a threesome?
A – Refer to Q38. But no.
Q43: Have you ever embarrassed yourself in public?
A – Frequently.
Q44: Have you ever misjudged someone?
A – Just like Sasha Fierce to Beyonce, Judge Jess is my alter ego.
YOUR BELIEFS AND OPINIONS
Q45: Do you believe in God?
A – No.
Q46: Do you believe in yourself?
A – Well I’m pretty sure I’m here in body, occasionally mind, and spirit. But yes, in many aspects I do but there will always be weak areas!
Q47: Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A – Of course.
Q48: Do you believe in ghosts?
A – I’m too scared to answer this one way or another.
Q49: Do you believe in aliens?
A – No.
Q50: Do you believe in miracles?
A – I believe that good and/or the unexpected can happen to people. Whether that’s classed as a miracle or not..
Q51: Do you believe in the power of positive thinking?
A – Yep. Without positivity, what even are we?
Q52: Do you believe in love at first sight?
A – I’m all for the instant attraction to someone but love? No. I’m more of a realist.
Q53: Can money make you happy?
A – It helps. But with no love from friends or family, what’s the point of a bucketload of money? I’d always chose a bucket load of love. Both would be a bonus.
Q54: Would you describe yourself as a feminist?
A – I don’t shave my legs that often?
Q55: Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
A – Pro-choice.
Q56: Do you have strong political beliefs?
A – I’m more TOWIE than Question Time.
Q57: Do you have strong religious beliefs?
A – No.
Q58: What do you think the most important thing you can give a child is?
A – Love, time, attention and the room to make mistakes. 
RIGHT NOW
Q59: Are you eating anything right now?
A – No.
Q60: Are you drinking anything right now?
A – No.
Q61: What are you listening to right now?
A – Some shit on TV in the background. Which is sort of why I resorted to doing this questionnaire. Now I’m regretting the decision at only Q61…
Q62: What are you thinking about right now?
A – I’m getting RSI and I wish I didn’t believe in chain letter reprisals.
Q63: What are you waiting for right now?
A – These questions to end.
Q64: What are you most excited about right now?
A – Q100.
Q65: What’s your pet hate right now?
A – People parking in parent and child spaces. Without children. It’s an actual hate. Not even a pet one.
Q66: What’s your favourite thing right now?
A – Midday when I eat; I’m currently trying this fasting thing in a bid to shed a bit of timber.
Q67: If you weren’t answering these questions, what would you be doing right now?
A – Not answering these questions?
FIRSTS
Q68: Your first best friend?
A – Caroline from junior school. I moved away and we kept in touch for a while, in the days of pen and paper letters.
Q69: Your first kiss?
A – Mark Owen on my bedroom wall.
Q70: Your first celebrity crush?
A – Macaulay Culkin.
Q71: Your first holiday?
A – I was lucky as a child, we went away quite a bit. My first memory of holidays though is Portugal and watching the frogs on the giant lily pads?!
Q72: Your first pet?
A – Fish won at the fair. Ella.
Q73: Your first regret?
A – I don’t really have any of significance.
Q74: Your first job?
A – Checkout girl at Waitrose. Mostly hungover checkout girl.
Q75: Your first childhood memory?
A – Winning a fish at the fair and our friends who lived next door filled up a freezer bag and put a carrot shaped fish in there and lobbed it over the wall. I was devastated that they’d killed my fish.
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Q76: Love or money?
A – Love.
Q77: Twitter or Facebook?
A – Facebook.
Q78: Hook up or relationship?
A – Time and a place for both. But now in my old age and wisdom, relationship.
Q:79: Dogs or cats?
A – Dogs.
Q80: Coffee or tea?
A – Tea
Q81: Beer or wine?
A – Prosecco.
Q82: Sweet or savoury?
A – Savoury.
Q83: Introvert or extrovert?
A – An antisocial extrovert.
Q84: Vampires or werewolves?
A – Neither?
Q85: Seaside or countryside?
A – Both!
Q86: Summer or winter?
A – Both.
Q87: Books or movies?
A – Books. Oh how I wish I had time to read more.
Q88: Horror or comedy?
A – Comedy. 
A FEW RANDOM QUESTIONS TO FINISH ON
Q89: Do you wish you could change your past?
A – I’m a big believer in the past making your future. So although at the time there may have been shitty times, they help make the people you become.
Q90: What’s your dream job?
A – Hmmmm….
Q91: What’s your guilty pleasure?
A – It used to be One Direction.
Q92: What are you afraid of?
A – The dark. Being burgled and bludgeoned to death. Catching the D&V bug.
Q93: What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up?
A – Macaulay Culkin’s wife.
Q94: If you could have any super power, what would it be?
A – Invisibility.
Q95: If you could change anything about your life what would it be?
A – That I wasn’t such a greedy pig?
Q96: Would you want immortality?
A – If my family also had it.
Q97: If you could interview anyone alive or dead who would you choose?
A – Elvis. For my dads benefit.
Q98: Would you say you are happy?
A – Yes. Inbetween the toddler tantrums.
Q99: What one piece of advice would you give to yourself at age eighteen?
A – Enjoy your uni days, make life experiences, surround yourself with a solid group of friends who’ll always have your back.
Q100: Where would you like to be in five years’ time?
A – 39.
Hurrah, if you made it this far you’re a better person than me. I now nominate/burden the following people to complete the longest survey in the world…I thought I’d keep it amongst the dad gang.
Property Parent
Early Morning Club