From the purple Phil Mitchell potato baby that was handed to me four years ago as I embarked on this crazy motherhood adventure, through to years one, two and three and Sofia turns 4. This one has been our most challenging yet as Arlo crash landed and we all adjusted to being a family of four.
So what have I learnt this year?
× They still love dressing up. They do protest more now but sweets are always a good bargaining tool.
× Bribery Reasoning comes into force more and more, it reduces your bank account and goes against your ‘don’t give the kids e-numbers’ rule, but it saves your sanity.
× You stop shoe shopping at Clark’s. And don’t even feel guilty about it.
× They never stop talking…..
….or making constant demands
….or asking questions; few of my favourites this year have been – ‘how did my brother get here?’, ‘will I go to jail?’ or ‘mummy, why haven’t you got a willy like daddy?‘
× They can’t keep a secret and will happily grass you up to daddy
× You can love more than one child; and contrary to what my mum used to tell me, you can have a (temporary) favourite. [Usually the one that’s not being a complete twat at the time]
× They don’t forget anything, especially if it involves sweets or toys
× Your first born baby no matter how old will always be your baby (cue Mariah Carey)
× You have the confidence to laugh in the face of people trying to tell you how to manage your children
× You can leave them downstairs while you shower, and they can generally entertain themselves for a while
× You start to realise how quick the years go and start imagining them in grown up scenarios. You think of their future and where their personality will take them (Sofia’s – prison)
× You start preparing them for school (whilst preparing yourself, your mindset, after school clubs, logistics and your working hours)
× They start to work out when weekends are and ask for ‘late nights’
× They need another car seat, and you question why you didn’t go into car seat manufacturing as a job
× The parent and child parking fury rages on…the less said about that the better
× The sickness fear spreads…as we come out the other side of it joining our house this week.
× You do put make up on now, but so do they
× They apparently start gathering boyfriends at this age…
× The tantrums become more hideous
× They learn how to work controllers and demand ‘Netflix’
× They start using words like ‘diapers‘ and ‘kindy‘ and you know it’s time to extract the iPad and YouTube from them
× They’ll spend hours watching American kids; pretend to drive cars, walk around shopping malls pushing prams, open birthday presents, shriek at the mashems/LOL eggs. See above point.
× With two of the buggers now at nursery our house is one long constantly cough and cold cycle – [tip: buy shares in Calpol, we’re keeping them in business]
In summary: As Sofia turns 4, Arlo comes along andLagerDad is well and truly booked in for the snip. I still cry at everything, I comfort eat my way through the tantrum days, my potty mouth sometimes belongs on the Chatsworth Estate and I pray to the sleep gods more than ever before.
But d’you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing.